"Wake Up and Say Something Positive When Everything Is Going Well"
The Whale Done Response
- Praise people immediately
- Be Specific
- Share your positive feeling about what they did
- Encourage them to keep up the good work
Please use the above response in the next week in the following ways:
1) 3 times with colleagues either in letter/card/email or verbally
2) Make a conscience effort in your education setting to catch your kids doing things
correctly--very important FOCUS ON YOUR "TOUGHEST" KIDS. Do it multiple times daily.
3) Call at least 2 parents of your "toughest" kids for something positive--keep the whole conversation positive!
4) Apply this a minimum of twice per day with family or friends!
Reflection: Share with us your observations
HAVE A GREAT WEEK!
Dan
16 comments:
I agree with Sam and Cortney that the book and the assignment this week are great motivators to stay positive. You really need to focus on being positive to stay positive. This class is changing my focus. This is a great time of the year to keep a positive focus. The children are starting to get into the, I am ready for summer mood.
This week I was praising everyone. It is easy when you are looking for something specific. However some of my colleagues thought I was going to ask them for something. I guess I don’t praise them enough. My husband asked what I wanted or what was I feeling guilty about. Most of us are not use to getting praise. It is very different with my first grade students. They beam when you praise them. I had to look hard for some students. If they were facing the front of the room when they were in line I would say, “I like the way you are facing the front of the room.” The child I said this to just beamed. Then the next time we got in line she said, “I am facing the front of the room Mrs. Lapotka.” She said this quite loud so I praised the child next to her for standing quietly.
We had conferences this week. I called the parents to remind them and told them I couldn’t wait to show how much their child has accomplished this year. Everyone I called showed up. One parent even said she was so afraid of what she was going to hear because last year her child didn’t do well in first grade and was retained. The child was really too young for first grade last year. The mom even clapped. It was great. Another mom said that she had forgotten about conferences and it was so nice to receive the call. She said thank you for showing me how much my child has learned this year. I thanked her for all the time she puts in at home helping following up what we do in school. I have to say it was an interesting week.
Thanks Dan for the assignment, it was a great one. I would even say it was one of those life changing lessons.
This was a super great assignement. I need to stay positive and this class has really helped me focus on that. I especially love the book so far!
I first of all have to say I agree with the husband comment. You give them a lot of compliments and praise and they say, "What did you buy?" Or, "What do you want?" Wow- you compliment someone and they think you want something in return! Crazy!
Complimenting my colleagues was a great success. I think it made them feel good inside. I especially hit up people who I know are having a rough time in their personal lives. I think complimenting them about things at work made them feel better. I also complimented people and gave praise to people I don't normally talk to on a daily basis. It has made those people talk to me and smile at me more in the hallway when I pass them by.
This class has really helped me stay positive in my classroom. It is always in the back of my mind- always. I have this little voice inside of my head that is constantly saying- stay positive, tell your students Whale Done, smile- act happy - etc. My students have really noticed a big difference. I can tell in the way they treat each other, they love the praise, smile more and act happier. It really is contagious.
I called most of my parents. They all immediately were like- "What did ... do?" Whoa! How we all need to take 2 minutes here and there and call parents when we notice how great their kids are doing??? Then they don't get that yucky feeling when you call. I plan to change that!
I am also focusing on this with my personal life- besides my husband. My own two kids love praise. They are very lovey dovey kids already so this is only increasing that. More praise for noticicng the good is making them more content and willing to do things to help me out around the house too. My oldest will be 7 in June and loves compliments and praise. She has been cleaning her room, hanging up her own clothes, setting the table, helping her brother clean his room- all because she wants more and more praise. My husband and I were already good with the praise thing. This has only increased that. I have also been doing a good job with my friends. It makes them feel so great. I can tell. Everyone- no matter what age- needs praise where deserved. I like it too!
I had the most success this week with my daughter. She was diagnosed with yet another ear infection and this time she has to take Augmentin. This stuff is pretty nasty and she detests it. So knowing full well in advance that it would be a struggle to get her to take it, I came up with a plan. While she is choking the stuff down I lay on the praise immediately, before she has even finished the full teaspoon and a half. She loves hearing all of the funny names I come up with for her when she is done and what cracks her up the most is when I yell, "Whale Done!" I am thinking it would be nice to get her a little stuffed whale for when she finishes the last dose sort of like Anne Marie handed out at her seminar in chapter two of the book.
At work I have a student teacher. I now make it a point to share specific praise with her before school, at lunch, and at the end of the day. I know I was praising her before, but now I can make a point of getting more whale dones in during the day and not forgetting them as crazy things arise.
The most challenging thing for me was having to call the parents. It was report card week and I actually had to make some tough calls home about some very low grades. So I finally settled on one of my toughies and called his mom about one thing that didn't have anything to do with report cards or grades. I wanted to let her know that I was worried about his hearing because he was talking VERY loud (far louder than usual) this week and he had spelled club with a p rather than a b in our spelling bee. She mentioned that they were noticing similar problems at home, thanked me so much for the call, and had him in to the doctor the following day.
In making a conscience effort to praise collegues/friends/family/"tough kids" I started to see how for the most part (and I DO NOT want to toot my own horn:) I do try to make a daily effort to give sincere praise/compliments, mainly because as a school counselor, I want to help motivate kids and one sure way is to focus on strengths/abilities/talents, etc. Also, I think it is due to knowing how good praise/commpliments feels and how we all don't hear it as often as we should, so why not do to others as I would want done to me.
One of the collegues that I praised was my principal and it made me chuckle afterward in how he immediately complimented me right back. I have experienced that before and realize that some people are quick to compliment back because 1, they are either uncomfortable/not used to praise or 2, feel that they need to do it back to be polite!:) Either way, I said it and meant it and even if he was trying to be polite, I appreaciated his compliment.
With my "tough" students, I did notice how one girl smiled more the rest of the day and finished it out with staying in her classes and with another VERY challenging student, he followed my directions and showed respect to myself and the class during guidance. When I called the parents of both these two students, I got the "What is wrong?" which I do tend to get because a parent will think that a accident/emergency happened. But when I told them how their child was doing, some postive changes I have been seeing in them, they both thanked me for calling and that "it is nice to hear some GOOD news rather than BAD news."
Finally, with my friends and family, I am known as the "Queen of Cheese" in that I have NO problem telling them how I love them, appreciate them, miss them, value them, etc. and do it often, so it wouldn't be out of the ordinary. I love the title and would like to hold it forever:)
It was an easy week to be negative because of the stress of the end of the quarter, grades being due and students putting on the pressure (during these 5 days we have to get grades in) to change the grades they've maintained for 9weeks!
It was an easy week to be positive because of this assignment. Thank you, also, Dan. With colleagues, they responded with smiles and laughter because they were under the same stress and needed the personal attention.
With students I usually am very positive, but at this time of the year with 8th graders, I can get to be pretty sarcastic. So with concentrating on the 'tough' ones, they were at first somewhat incredulous and wary, then giggly and embarrassed, then (for lack of a more precise word) relaxed (?) and receptive (??
Calling parents was the hard start, but as has been mentioned by the others, a most welcome relief for them after so many years of only hearing the bad news.
I called some friends that we had not seen in a long time and we've arranged to get together again - a good feeling on my part that was also felt by them.
Family is fun and easy to praise, but they all need different kinds of praise. Once your own kids are grown and the realization comes that what we say as reactive is not going to mean anything, only alienation; it's vveerryy easy to only see the positive!
Before I begin the actual assignment, I want to thank Kristin G. for her insight on her daughters' ear infection. As you read on, you'll understand... "Whale Done" Kristin, for easing my pains as a new father.
This activity was actually quite tough to do. It seriously took a conscious effort to pull this off for the entire week; however, I believe it was worth it.
I had the most success, and ease for that matter, with colleagues. Teaching in a school that endorses the middle school concept, we work as a middle school team with the Social Studies, Language Arts, Science, and Math (myself) teachers. I was able to verbally commend two of the three teachers (the science teacher was out on paternity leave for the week). At our weekly meeting (Tuesday morning), we had reconvened about some issues that we each were to do some research on, and then come back together to discuss and make a decision. Since I am the 8th grade advisor, I tend to be the middle school leader and contact between the office and middle school team. Well, one of the teachers was able to report back things he had discovered, and I was able to immediately commend him on his findings. I let the team know how excited I was that we could make a final decision as a result of them keeping to their task of research. We all laughed and enjoyed ourselves in the meeting a bit more after that.
Additionally, I also was able to thank our Lang. Arts teacher very specifically this week on very different terms. My oldest sister & her husband are currently going through probably the toughest thing in their lives; they have a 3 week old child that is going to have heart surgery tomorrow (Monday) morning. Our Lang. Arts teacher has been there for me to keep talking to, totally apart from school, and to confide in. Add to that, my son (who will be 9 months old on April 21) went to daycare for the first time starting last Monday, and by Friday he was home sick with my wife, who thank heaven had taken him to the doctor to find out he has a double ear infection, as well as the beginning of pneumonia. (Needless to say, it’s been an incredible weekend…) Anyhow, Friday, at the end of the school day, the Lang. Arts teacher and I sat and talked for a short time. It felt really good to actually give her praise when I was totally down in the dumps. Dishing out the Whale Done response to her in regards to not only listening to me, but as well as giving her credit for things that she had researched for our meeting earlier in the week really lifted my spirits! Truthfully, I look forward to going to school tomorrow to keep my mind off of the heart surgery, as well as talking to her.
As for praising the students, this was tougher to do. Not because it was praise, but I was intentionally looking to find some good in my toughest students. As I’ve mentioned before, we have an extremely challenging 6th grade class this year. So, to first praise some of them is tough, then, to find a positive and call their parents was even tougher.
The students that I focused this on were all students that had failed, and are currently failing math and several other core subjects. Additionally, these students don’t get their homework done nearly 98% of the time. Add to this, they have the “I don’t care” attitude about being successful, school, or much of anything. And, similarly, their parents are the same way. The good that I found in them, however, was to praise their efforts in class, as minimal as they were. As the week progressed, I found them contributing more and more, though no where near as much as I expect… Anyhow, I had two students that actually completed their assignment towards the end of the week, something that hasn’t occurred in about three months! The trick, however, is going to be to see if we can’t sustain this for the upcoming week. This lead to my phone call to their parents, that I was very excited about the work that they had handed in. Now, admittedly, the work that was handed in showed minimal effort, heck, not even passing grades. However, to find the positive, it was at bare minimum attempted, which is more than I had seen in quite some time. So, to the parents they were shocked as well. As for the follow-up, the next day (Friday), they did not have their work done, however, had smiles on their faces as they knew I had talked to their parents. Their effort was about the same on Friday, as it was the previous day. Hopefully, again, we can build upon that this week…
Overall, this toughest to do with the toughest of students, however, it is possible and it does yield rewards. Yes, my rewards have been next to nothing, however, they did make the slightest of improvements… Perhaps if I keep this up, they will continue to improve. Time will tell.
One of my goals for my integration project has simply been to increase the number of positive responses I give my students on a daily basis. I am doing so with all my kids, but I am especially focusing on two of my “toughest” kids. (So this assignment was perfect for my project!) I already wrote about Jesse in my response to chapter two. He is the boy that is on his 3rd ADHD medication of the school year. I am also focusing my attention on Jacob, not for behavior problems but for low academics.
Echoing what others have said, it’s easy to slip into the “gotcha” mode between Christmas vacation and spring break. And I must admit that sometimes I’ve consciously NOT praised my kids because I’m afraid to ruin a good thing! For example, it seems that whenever I compliment the class on working quietly, the noise level in the room goes up!! Well, I’ve been praising them anyway for working quietly, and I’ve noticed that, even though the noise level may go up at that time, in general they are working quietly more often.
At first, I really had to focus on catching the kids doing something well (especially some kids!). But it’s gotten easier every day, and now sometimes I praise the kids without even thinking about it. “Mike, your desk is always so nice and neat!” “Alee, you were a good friend to Matthew when you helped him pick up his spilled art box.” “Whale done, boys and girls! You were so quiet in the hall!” “Bell, it was very responsible of you not to take a milk when you knew you forgot to sign up for one.” “Jena, thanks for really making an effort and taking the time to read for understanding!” “Grant, I can tell you’re slowing down to try and improve your handwriting!”
One thing that’s been working really well for me is a positive response and form of redirection all rolled into one! When one or more kids are engaging in an undesirable behavior, instead of reacting negatively to them, I give a “Whale done!” others around them that are doing what I expect. “Billy and Madeline, thanks for following directions and taking turns with the math manipulatives.” Usually, the kids that were misbehaving immediately shape up and attempt to live up to the compliment I gave their peers. I’ve also been making an effort to praise kids in front of select peers for things they’re doing well academically. “Alex, I love that you remembered a topic sentence and conclusion in your writing!” Academic complements seem to inspire surrounding peers as well!
As for Jesse, it has helped to focus on catching him doing things BETTER versus WELL. He beams and his effort visibly improves. I sent home a positive note at the end of his first day on the 3rd ADHD med, and I called his mom at the end of the week. She was thrilled to say the least to be receiving positive feedback again. As for Jacob, he struggles greatly with reading, so he won’t hesitate to tell you how much he hates it. I’ve been trying to point out all of the things he does well when he reads to me, and his attitude does seem to be improving (not that he’d admit it). He was recently tested for a learning disability, so I called his home to make sure they received the invitation to his IEP. I was also able to give his mom a little pep talk about what a great kid Jacob is, how hard he works at school, and the improvements he has made this school year. She said she really appreciated the call. We’ll see how the IEP goes…
As for colleagues, one of the other first grade teachers (my daughter’s teacher!) and my very good friend is fighting breast cancer but you wouldn’t know it. She refuses to let it interfere with her daily life, and it really hasn’t. I always knew she was an amazing teacher/person, but WOW. I tell her often what an inspiration she is and help out as much as I can. (I also remind her that it would be OK to cut back a little, but she won’t hear of it.) I thank and praise both first grade teacher aides often. They are so good at what they do. I don’t know what we’d do without them. I also made it a point to let the reading specialist know what a difference she’s making working with two of my boys. She said she really needed to hear that at that time.
I’ve also been trying to accentuate the positive at home which has made a big difference in my family’s willingness to help and cooperate (the kids’ AND my husband’s). The kids’ bickering and the adults’ lack of sleep still need some work, though…
There is a staff member working on her Masters Thesis. It is frustrating her because she is having a hard time appeasing the professor who is reading the thesis. He is not in her field of expertise, so she has a problem communicating with him. I have been helping her by proofing the paper. This is not easy since I am not in her field either. I have given her positive feedback. I’ve also informed her of how proud I am that she is going for her Masters. We all know continuing your education while dealing with other things in life is difficult. I’ve sent her motivational sayings, cards, and uplifting advice. She has been very appreciative and has finished the thesis. So far so good.
A teacher has taken maternity leave. The long term sub has had a hard time. I stop by and see him everyday to make sure things are going okay. I tell him to talk to me anytime he needs to talk. And I tell him he is doing a great job. I feel anyone that can step into someone else’s shoes for an extended period of time deserves a pat on the back. When students complain, I ask what they would change. I ask how they would feel in a situation like this. Most students see the difficulty of someone stepping into another person’s job, with no real beginning or end. Many are more understanding. Some will never try to understand.
A teacher’s father has just passed away. I told her to call me anytime she needs to talk. She comes down to ‘vent’ when things are rough. I understand about losing a parent. There isn’t much a person can say. But I can be there for her.
Staff enjoy having others take note of their accomplishments. Now they need to see that students need the same positive acknowledgement.
With students, I need be more observant. If I’m having a bad day, I am less tolerant. I had a student that just can’t sit still or be quiet. I’ve talked to him, I’ve TALKED to him. Finally, I gave him the job of taking roll. I set the criteria he had to follow and he knows if he doesn’t follow that, he can’t take roll the next time. It is the best. He gets to rid himself of that extra talk. I always comment on the good job he has done. His fidgeting has lessened.
Every one loves to be praised for doing something well. We expect people to be happy with the knowledge of doing a job well. But it is so much sweeter when someone notices.
I need to keep in mind that I like to receive praise so I should always keep it in the back of my mind to praise others. We all do better with the positive instead of the negative.
The Whale Done Response is something that I try to do in my classroom but get away from at times. It is something that I am conscious of and try to work on. I even put it in my goals. I don't think I am a negative person. I just don't feel I put out enough positives, at least with the people that frustrate me.
In giving colleagues praise I find that most will act like their accomplishments are nothing but they are pleased. I found the people I complimented tried to detract from what I was complimenting them on. I guess I do the same thing. I like when people notice what I am doing but feel a little awkward when it is said to me.
When I called the parents with the positive phone calls I noticed how hard it is to stay completely positive. There is a part of me that wants to add a "but". I would say, "You child had a great day in math following direction, BUT still needs to work on it." It is hard to keep that part out of it because I want to be realistic with the parents. When I was able to however I had very positive phone conversations and the parents ended up complimenting me.
I really like this assignment as I printed this out for my personal calendar with reminders to praise my students, colleagues, family, and friends on a daily basis. It forces me to accomplish at least 4 genuine praises a day.
With colleagues, I sensed that they wondered why I was paying them a compliment. I unfortunately think this is because it is more usual for me to complain to them rather than bring up something positive. This is something I need to work on. I have 4 aides that help me. I am very fortunate. I don’t them get very often, but the time that I do is very valuable! I tried to be specific to each of them on why I enjoy working with them and how they make my job easier and the kids experience better.
My two toughest kids are ones that can do the work in my room, but never seem to get anything done. I praised them for making more progress than usual, and it seemed to keep them on track. These were also the students on who I called their parents. I stressed that these boys do creative and interesting artwork. I said that I have been working to get them accomplish more in the hour that they are here. I did have to mention near the end that I was concerned that they were still behind in getting their assignments. I offered that the boys were welcome to come in before school or at recess, if they wanted to work.
The parents seemed please that I had some promising things to say, and I wasn’t telling them anything new about them being behind as they were in other classes too.
With my 8-year-old son, giving him praise for using his manners and getting ready for the next school day, with me reminding him really seemed to work! He even helped me pick up the laundry room and asked to help with the dishwasher.
My husband, on the other hand, wondered what I was up to! I need to give him much more praise than I do.
I have been thinking about Jim since I read the posting he put up about his own child and his sister's child. I sent out positive thoughts all day when I read about the surgery for the three week old. I am hoping everything went well. Also, how is your little guy? Ear infections are so sad. It's excruciating not be able to help them when they are so little and they can't tell you what's wrong. It breaks my heart. :( I hope everything is looking up for you. I'm glad you found a shoulder to lean on at work. I have found that during some rough times it is absolutly imperitive to have someone to unload on at work or the work just can't get done!
I am fortunate to work with so many wonderful colleagues it was not difficult to find opportunities for praise. Our grade-level “team” has grown tremendously this past year and I think a big part of that is trying to make time to eat lunch together, rather than just work in our own rooms while eating lunch independently. These few minutes each day give us the chance to ask questions, share stories and generally support each other. Taking the time to show an interest while building each other up has been far more rewarding than I ever would have thought.
Although it has always been easy to use “whale -dones” with my family, I have been working on being more selective and specific with my comments. This is because our older son has informed me a couple of times that my positive words don’t mean much to him because I’m a “Mom” and will always say good things about my kids. Now, this is partly true, and I make no apology for unconditional love and support. However, I do want my family to know I’m sincere (and accurate) in my praise. Perhaps, I have been too liberal with my praise and I need to expand on my comments so the proof of sincerity is evident. Nevertheless, it was my husband and our 8-year-old who seemed to respond most positively to my compliments. It seemed like these behaviors and others of a similar nature increased possibly because of the positive attention they brought.
I chose three of my most struggling students to really focus on in the last couple of weeks. I made a point of looking for any slight sign of reaching toward desired goals, and then flooded these students with recognition and praise for the steps they were making. One student didn’t have his homework done (as usual), but showed up at recess to finish it without a fight. Another student went an entire week without getting into a fight on the playground, and a third student showed clear motivation and engagement completing a tough algebra assignment that many students wanted to give up on. I called all three parents and was warmly thanked by each. This is definitely a practice I’d like to continue. The few minutes spent on the phone can save hours of lost motivation and wasted time dealing with behavior problems. It is so rewarding to see the pride on these students faces when they come back to school after receiving these positive phone messages. If our job as educators is to bring hope and encouragement to those who are showing signs of giving up, this seems like the single most effective way to break the cycle.
I am fortunate to work with so many wonderful colleagues it was not difficult to find opportunities for praise. Our grade-level “team” has grown tremendously this past year and I think a big part of that is trying to make time to eat lunch together, rather than just work in our own rooms while eating lunch independently. These few minutes each day give us the chance to ask questions, share stories and generally support each other. Taking the time to show an interest while building each other up has been far more rewarding than I ever would have thought.
Although it has always been easy to use “whale -dones” with my family, I have been working on being more selective and specific with my comments. This is because our older son has informed me a couple of times that my positive words don’t mean much to him because I’m a “Mom” and will always say good things about my kids. Now, this is partly true, and I make no apology for unconditional love and support. However, I do want my family to know I’m sincere (and accurate) in my praise. Perhaps, I have been too liberal with my praise and I need to expand on my comments so the proof of sincerity is evident. Nevertheless, it was my husband and our 8-year-old who seemed to respond most positively to my compliments. It seemed like these behaviors and others of a similar nature increased possibly because of the positive attention they brought.
I chose three of my most struggling students to really focus on in the last couple of weeks. I made a point of looking for any slight sign of reaching toward desired goals, and then flooded these students with recognition and praise for the steps they were making. One student didn’t have his homework done (as usual), but showed up at recess to finish it without a fight. Another student went an entire week without getting into a fight on the playground, and a third student showed clear motivation and engagement completing a tough algebra assignment that many students wanted to give up on. I called all three parents and was warmly thanked by each. This is definitely a practice I’d like to continue. The few minutes spent on the phone can save hours of lost motivation and wasted time dealing with behavior problems. It is so rewarding to see the pride on these students faces when they come back to school after receiving these positive phone messages. If our job as educators is to bring hope and encouragement to those who are showing signs of giving up, this seems like the single most effective way to break the cycle.
Getting this all in during the week was hard. It’s a muscle I need to flex more.
Colleagues: I finally sat down and sent a quick note to a colleague at a different school for the many small kindnesses I have seen her perform for me and for others. I did not get a response yet but I had been meaning to acknowledge her for quite some time so I was glad I was finally externally motivated to do it. I sent an email to another teacher to relay some positive remarks made by a former student’s mother about her daughter’s time in this teacher’s classroom. Everyone needs to hear those types of things. I sent an email and also personally thanked a teacher at my own school for taking her time to inform me of a teaching tool that is new to the school. She went above and beyond in getting these kits ready for immediate use and I appreciated the extra copies she included (which I now do not have to find the time to make!)
Students: My toughest students this year have very low self-esteem. Because of this, even valid positive comments are sometimes dismissed as insincere so I have to be careful. I found a common ground with one in particular – we’re both Brewers fans – so the opening of the season was a perfect time to talk to him on neutral ground. I also recognized a major building project he and his buddies are creating on the playground at recess. Again, just connecting on some level so that there is common ground. I did write two positive notes to him, one on his Ability Honor Roll sheet and the other on a paper upon which he had done some really good work. Both my conversations with his mother this week were about some behavior issues but I tried to spend as much time talking about what he is doing well as what behaviors need to be corrected.
Another parent interaction came at the beginning of the week. This mother’s son is rarely any trouble and is a very good student. It was interesting to hear her talk about his lack of organization in such negative terms. His disorganization was the issue we were discussing but I tried to gently rephrase her words into a more positive context. When she said that his thinking is so “out there” that he can’t keep track of his belongings, I told her that his “out there” thinking was a gift because he can make connections that most third graders miss. There were a few more times when I used this rephrasing with her and the entire conference ended on a much more positive note. We did enact a plan to help him learn some organizational tricks but we both felt better at the end of our meeting.
Home: I made sure to thank my husband for doing all the work while I finished report cards last week. He is atypical in that he does all the cooking and a million other things around the house but I have come to take him for granted. I think he appreciated my gratitude.
I always enjoy tasks such as these because I often get so bogged down in the "negatives" that I forget to focus on the positives. And WOW, it is amazing how focusing on those positives instead of the negatives not only makes your receiver feel good, but it makes me feel 100 times better about myself and about my day.
Colleagues either responded with smiles, laughs, or positive body language, but regardless of how the feedback was given, I think my positiveness helped to improve their day as well as my own. And we all know at this time of year (after an early spring break), we can also use a pick-me-up.
Because I teach 6th graders the second task was pretty easy for me - even with my "toughest" students. At this age they still want to please the teacher and (usually) be recognized for their achievements. The smiles I received from many of my "tough" students were priceless. And then after the positive comments and compliments, those kids seemed to want to just talk more often than usual with me or share stories with the class during discussions. It was very uplifting to see that a little still goes a long way with my 6th graders.
I typically enjoy making these phone calls home to parents, even though I don't do it nearly enough. I love to 'hear" the smiles through the phone and the sigh of relief that this is not another one of "those" phone calls.
And of course, the most rewarding is talking to my friends and family. Just letting them know how much I appreciate them brings even bigger smiles and joy to me than I think it would ever bring to them. When I think about my family and friends, I feel I am truly blessed to have such wonderful people in my life and I can never thank them enough.
It was not much of a stretch to find ways to use the Whale Done! Response with my colleagues this week. Recently, two of our staff members, a teacher and a custodian, received district-wide recognition of their commitments and contributions to ensure every student is learning, growing, and succeeding. Because of our building configuration and scheduling, I rarely even see them.
I went on a mission during my prep period to find our custodian and shake his hand, acknowledging his deserving of the award and personally appreciating the efforts he puts forth in making our school beautiful and smooth functioning. He seemed surprised that I had come looking for him just to say so.
For the teacher, I sent a greeting card that expressed beautifully the pride I feel in having her at our school, and wrote a personal note about how she has inspired me to be a better teacher. Later, she came by and gave me a hug, saying how much she appreciated that I shared my thoughts and congratulations with her.
Additionally, I bought chocolates for the Special Education Aide who comes to my room daily and wrote her a note of appreciation for the difference she makes daily for those she has been helping in math and science, and for making my days less frantic. She was totally shocked at the unexpectedness of my sincere thank you.
On Wednesday evening, I had to have a “problem-solving” phone conference with a parent due to some hallway bullying. After I was done, I decided it would be a good night to balance out the bad news with some good, so I hopped back on the phone and ended up making EIGHT glowing calls to students and their families. A couple of the calls were regarding students who are always well behaved and are good students, but whom I’ve not really given that much recognition to because it’s so much the norm for them. Other calls were for those who haven’t received many warm fuzzies lately, but performed unusually well on their poetry presentations or who had shown recent signs of proactive leadership.
This week, I’ve also been not only focusing on the “toughest” kids, but on a couple that (hate to say it...) I haven’t liked very much. There a few who just rub me the wrong way and I find that I quickly lose my patience with them. Each the day, I’m looking to catch them doing things right. When I take the time to actively seek out those positives– I find several opportunities to seize. During my evening meditation practice, I’m directing my thoughts of loving-kindness towards those children, reminding myself to keep my heart open even under challenging circumstances. Interestingly, I am noticing subtle changes in the way I feel about them and in how they are likewise responding to me.
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