"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring, all which have the potential to turn a life around."
After reading the book please take a moment to respond by using the , and ? and !
- For comma a time that the book or readings made you pause and think
- For the question mark a time the book or readings made you ask yourself a question
- For the exclamation point describe an AHA moment. A time that you became excited or it was an eye opening moment
Please leave your post for others to read
13 comments:
Comma- There were many times I paused and thought about what I was reading! One time in the book that made me pause and think that I remember most was redirection/ignoring behaviors. I kept thinking, "How will I ignore certain things in the classroom? That is crazy! I can't do that!" That was my old way of thinking. Now that I have read the entire book, I understand more how I will do this and redirect. This already works better for me at home with my own children.
Question Mark- A question I had for myself while reading the book was, "Can I do this? Can I accomplish this whole Whale Done thing both at home and in my classroom?" I was so inspired by this book. I really want this approach to work for me.
Exclamation Point-When I finished reading the book and decided what to do for my project. I was so impressed with the Whale Done and thinking positive! I got right to it and came up with my integration project. I am very excited about it!
For the comma, I had to pause and think how I could use this technique for the VERY challenging students I encounter. For the question mark, I asked myself how I could take what I have learned from this class and the book and help the school staff have an AHA moment and use the WHALEdone in their classrooms and with students. Finally, the exclamation point was how I actually used some of the techniques and saw how the students/staff/loved ones responded.
I truly enjoyed reading Whale Done and can see that the simple, yet powerful strategies outlined in the book are almost too good to be true!!! Having witnessed the effectiveness of these responses at home and at work I hope to continue with this powerful perspective reliving the "ahas" with each desired outcome. Although I’ve always considered myself a positive person, this book takes it a step farther by suggesting that redirection, rather than negative or no response is far more effective in acquiring long-term positive behavior. I have to admit that at first, I was a bit unclear as to what “redirection” could entail???? After finishing the book, and pausing to reflect in various situations,,, I think I’m getting better at this. I guess I am seeing that redirection doesn’t mean ignoring a problem or not clearly addressing it. Redirection is simply creating the most positive opportunity possible for someone to learn and grow from. No one likes to mess up, and redirection allows one to see for him or herself what was done wrong. It provides a safe opportunity to grow and change a behavior from the inside out, rather than the reverse, because integrity remains intact. I know there will be future situations that I don't handle perfectly. Nevertheless, this book provides a template for more effective and positive responses.
Comma- I paused and thought how easy it is to see what is wrong and to change a behavior or attitude takes time and effort. I paused when I take the time to tell my husband something I appreciate him doing for our family and me.
Question Mark- The question I had while reading the book was how could I redirect the behavior I want to change and be ok with ignoring those behaviors.
AHA moment – When I started to see how much more my students and husband were will to do when they were told what they were doing well.
Exclamation Point- The positive feeling I had every time I sat and read the book was exciting. I couldn’t wait to get to school the next day and try out a different way of looking at a situation. I call them situations now instead of problems. My attitude has changed!
Comma - I think so far the thing that made me think the most from this class was the "Can" video and article. It makes me think about sacrifices people make for each other. It also makes me think of the person I want to be for my family. I was impressed by the story and wonder how much of myself I could give.
Question Mark - The biggest thing I have questioned so far has gone along with the Whale Done response. I can see how focusing on the positive is effective and I should work to do more of it. What I question is the ignoring of the negative behaviors. I would have to work hard at it. I also wonder what would happen in my classroom if I ignored the negative behaviors more. Would the increase or would the kids work to improve?
Exclamation - For me the AHA was the positive part of the Whale Done response. I think about the people that I would like to work for. Obviously I would want to work for one that noticed my talents and successes. It is not that I am not positive in the classroom. I just have not really focused on being positive.
Comma: In chapter two of Whale Done!, Anne Marie speaks about the fact that society and technology are changing so quickly that few people get to be experts in their field anymore. “Most of us are constant learners,…(p. 47). This reminded me of our district’s mission statement in which we say that we want all students to become life-long learners. I believe there is a strong connection between redirecting the students in our classrooms and redirecting the teachers and staff who teach them. Perhaps if we all thought of each other as constant or lifelong learners, we’d be less apt to leap to a Negative response when we were not happy with the outcome.
Question: How will Whale Done work with my 2½ year old son? There are many connections between Love and Logic, which we are trying to use at home, and Whale Done. We are constantly redirecting him but, until he learns to communicate more clearly, much of what we do will have to be of a physical nature rather than verbal. I am curious about how I can incorporate the two philosophies.
Exclamation Point: For years I have been collecting literature and attending classes on instilling resiliency in my students. The website from which the articles on resiliency came has a definite emphasis on older students but I firmly believe that it is never too early to teach a child that obstacles happen and he or she can bounce back even stronger. When I opened the packet and saw those first two articles, it was a huge A-HA moment for me. I felt like I was given some direction.
One part of the book that I actually thought was when Anne Marie was talking about the four types of consequences. My pause was not so much about the reading, but rather a reflection on what I typically give for consequences. I went one step further, and then thought about what I’d like to have my responses be and have made a concerted effort to improve upon that.
Like many of you, the question mark for me was how do I “ignore” a negative behavior. I dislike the word ignore in this context, but rather, I wish the authors had used a word more like “deterrent”, where when an unwanted behavior occurs, we deter them away from where they’re headed (rather than ignore), and guide them towards a more acceptable outcome.
Finally, as my pessimism began to wear down, I tried these strategies in my classroom (WITH middle school students), at athletic practices, and at home, to find out that positive reinforcement leads to all sorts of positives! I look forward to keeping this going. I don’t know that I’ll ever master it, however, like many of you, I’m committed to making my life, and others’ lives more positive.
?????????Can I really do this? Will this really work with High School students? Yes it does. No matter what age no matter what attitude we like to be noticed and we want to be good.
,,,,,,,,,How will I make this work? Slowly. This isn’t a miracle cure. It takes time and patience. That’s something we don’t practice enough in our society, patience.
!!!!!!!It works! Just smiling and being more positive makes a world of difference. At first people ask what you are up to but soon enough they see that things are changing. Do I slip? YES! This is a new way of thinking and I go back to the way things used to be (easy to fall into a rut).
Comma:
One of the things that stands out and make me pause and think is the point the book makes about knowing what motivates people. We should not assume we know what motivates people. In fact the book suggests that we come out and ask in what way we could recognize their efforts in the long and short term. In all the jobs I have had I don’t think I ever have been asked those questions. If I had been asked, I’m not so sure I would know the answer?
Question:
In chapter one of “Whale Done”, it briefly mentions that animal trainers can “ mentally limit the animals.” This really made me think. It is easy to do that with animals, but is it just as easy to do this with people and children? I wonder how often we are guilty as educators, believing our students are not capable of various things. How often do we do this with family and friends. When I want someone to do something, this thought is in the back of my mind.
AHA:
I realized when I was reading about how we should encourage ANY progress, that I was inconsistent with this. I really think I do this with my students and son, but maybe could be more aware of it. I know that I fail to do this with my husband and especially myself.
I often feel overwhelmed because I never feel like I am ahead or near finished with parts of my life or work. What I need to do is personally feel good about any progress I make.
I also need to realize that few things in my life will ever be finished.
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AHA!! After first reading about accentuating the positive in chapter one, I struggled to find ANYTHING Jesse was doing WELL. So one of my first AHA moments was in chapter two when I learned I could praise his PROGRESS rather than wait for him to do something perfectly (which most likely would never happen). This has been huge for me in working with him since class started. On a related note, my latest AHA was about 15 minutes ago when I read Sharon’s blog. I didn’t make the connection like she did that I need to apply “praising progress” to myself. I often make unrealistic goals for myself (like spring cleaning the entire house in a weekend). At the end of the day/weekend, I should feel good about the PROGRESS I made (like getting caught up on laundry and all the kids’ clothes put away) instead of knocking myself for all I DIDN’T accomplish. Thanks for the revelation, Sharon!
Question?? I understand the benefits of redirecting a child’s energy and attention either back to what he was supposed to do or onto something else. But what about the big stuff? For example, when Jesse punched another kid at recess, I couldn’t just redirect Jesse to another part of the playground, right? (I “redirected” him to the office, which I knew wouldn’t help much, either.) Chapter one mentioned that sometimes even Shamu needs time-outs (but rarely stays in them for long). I was looking forward to reading more about these time-outs, but, correct me if I’m wrong, I don’t believe they were mentioned again.
Commas I am a big believer in Love & Logic, and, as I read the book, I often paused to note the similarities between Love & Logic and Whale Done! Both programs stress the importance of building trusting relationships with the kids. Love & Logic gives kids lots of choices (Would you prefer red or blue? ,Cheerios or Raisin Bran?, walking or biking?) , so they can’t/don’t argue when it’s your turn to make a decision. Whale Done! is about giving kids lots of praise, so their trust isn’t broken when/if you need to respond negatively. Love & Logic delivers empathy first when kids mess up. (What a bummer… Kids that keep hands to themselves get to have recess.) Whale Done! calmly redirects a child’s energy and attention when they make mistakes.
,,,,,,,,,,,- My comma was when I was reading Whale Done and I would pause and think about how far fetched everything seemed in the book. I put that aside and tried the whale done approach in my classroom and in my life and it is working. It is actually working! So my comma turned into a....
!!!!!!!!!!- Holy Cow! This Whale Done approach is a great way to live your life, conduct your business, pass on to others. I liked what Darcy said about chapter two of the book. When Anne Marie talked about being constant learners. I can learn to have a new outlook on life and I can influence others (in my classroom, school, and home) as well.
????????- Will I be able to keep being so positive? I have seen over the past weeks what a positive attitude can do for me. For instance- less stress, fewer headaches, happier at home, etc. I know it is completely worth it, but I wonder if I will be keep it up when I am tested with something BIG.
Comma - "Reward and praise progress - not correctness" This is something I need to remind myself of every day.
AHA! - To be able to influence people when you are not around. As parents have all tried to do with their own kids, this is just really a beautiful goal for a teacher with students, too.
Question - Do I admit being negative and ask for help from the group? I do admit I'm wrong when it comes to making mistakes in math in front of everyone, but not in my own behavior. I've got to try that.
Comma - In chapter two of Whale Done, I found a quote that really made me stop to think. "Attention is like sunshine to humans. What we give our attention to, grows. What we ignore, withers." I thought about all the times in my career and in my life where this rings true. I am going to type up this comment and leave it close to my desk and leave a copy in my purse and car. I think this would be a great reminder on those days when I am growing overly frustrated with a student or family member.
Question Mark - One question I had while reading the book and others response was: Would it technically be "ignoring" a behavior if you are redirecting it? During redirection, even though you are not reprimanding a student, you are not completely ignoring a behavior either. Right? Or am I looking at this in the wrong light?
AHA - An AHA moment for me was when I was reading about the B-Behavior in Chapter 2. I know how effective it can be to have students make the goals, but I never realized how much I actually missed the behavior that follows once the goal is set and therefore I missed the positive consequence. And in turn, the positive behavior change more than likely ended up disappearing after a while. This is something that I feel will definitely help me in my teaching career and at home.
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